December 24th, 2008
Holiday hints for hooch heads
Like you, I’m too busy doing last-minute holiday errands to accomplish much of anything else today. That’s why I’m thankful to borrow this gem from the Modern Drunkard: Tis the Season to Get Falling Down Drunk: Holiday Hints for Hooch Heads. Highlights:
If you receive three cocktail shakers every Christmas, you are a drunkard.
If you receive ten, get ready for an intervention.
Spread the holiday cheer by going to your favorite bar dressed as Santa Claus.
Because nobody under-pours Santa. Nobody.
If you’re going to travel during the holidays, be aware that you can no longer bring alcohol onto the airplane.
Unless you hide it in your bloodstream.
Merry Christmas and stuff, everybody!